Guess what y'all?!
... I have been in AZ for a whole year now!!!!
Seriously that is just crazy to me! Who knew that what I thought would only be a few months in a place turned into a whole entire year???
It has been kinda a neat experience to look back at this year mark for me and see what has happened. And honestly this year was not easy at all. ha It really was not. I fought a lot of boredom and loneliness and had to really find out who I am here. I had to go out of my comfort zone a LOT! I suffered the crazy heat... seriously I felt like I was in a frying pan... and really the list can go on and on and on with all the ditches that were in my path this year. But you know what?! This year has been FABULOUS!
It is funny to me how the hardest times in life can turn into the most rewarding and great times in your life, once you get through the line of fire that is. I personally think they become such good times because of all the lessons you learn. Really for me I learned a lot about being humble. Oh my goodness gracious I am not humble!! Honestly, how many times do I have to learn the same old lesson over and over again. Three times was not the charm folks... more like, oh I don't know, forty? Or something along those lines at least.
I think one of the coolest experiences for me was truly finding out who I was. Now just to let you all in on what I mean by that is everywhere I went it seemed like someone knew who the Langes were. Part of that really comes from growing up in a small town. But another part is my family is awesome. I am not just saying that... they are. In a post to follow I will go into depth about how awesome my family is. (I bet I got y'all on the edge of your seats now, don't I?) And I had many a brother go through the city of San Luis Obispo. So you see, when I went to a place all I had to say was, "My name is Erica Lange." and it meant something to those who heard it. There was always this flicker of recognition in the name and then followed a spew of confirmations and preconceived ideas. "Oh! Your a Lange!" they'd say, "So you are athletic, huh? Oh I bet you are good at holding your own with all those boys!" And it would just go on and on! Now this is not a bad thing. My family left me a great legacy... but a weighty one at that. Boy my brothers are athletic! And boy are they great in their church callings and they are funny and outdoorsy and smart and so on and with it came quite a bit of pressure to live up to the family name. So yeah it was really nice my family was so recognizably awesome. But at the same time I just got so used to fitting that mold. I was expected by everyone to already be a certain way.
When I came here I would say my last name and everyone just would look at me with a smile... But there was no flicker of recognition in their eyes... it was weird. And so for the first time in my life no one had any preconceived ideas about me. And in the beginning I was undergoing a sort of breakdown.... I was sitting there realizing no one had a flippin clue who I was! No one!!! I am not gonna lie, it scared me a little. Then I started to question if I ever was all those things a Lange was supposed to be... or at least always seemed to be. Then I got excited thinking I could be anyone I wanted... In the end I am a Lange. Plain and simple. I still say and do things like my bros. I still crave playing sports and love every second I get on a court or field. And I love to camp, spend time on a boat, and wakeboard, Yep, I am a Lange alright. But I am ERICA Lange and that right there brings in a lot of things that are just me.
I also learned to create in my time here. And that I like to decorate my place to make it nice and welcoming. And I learned to go out of my shell a bit more. Yeah, I still am really bad at it, but I have gotten a lot better. I learned that I love to be busy and I have developed a greater love for cooking and cleaning in my time here. I have become less of a worrier and have learned to love and live life!! Sure I have always loved life, but let me tell ya... I love it more now. I learned a lot about living and I guess I can say a learned a bit about love in general. I learned to love those around me in a greater capacity than I think I have ever been able to do before. And I got to say I learned a lot about what life is like when there are a lot of Mormons around!!! Ha So so weird to me still but I am getting used to it.
Oh and I learned that food goes bad way faster here than in California!! It is crazy!! I had to change the way I grocery shop! Also did you know that oranges can get dehydrated ? Yeah! Never knew that, but apparently the oranges we had went as hard as a rock and Kristin told me they get dehydrated from the heat and if they are left outside you can step on them and shatter them. The effects of that Arizona sun guys!!
But I think the biggest lesson of all that I learned has been about faith and giving up my time table and allowing the Lord's time table to take place in my life. It hasn't been easy. It took a lot of humbling and still I continue to be in need of humility. You learn so much when you are humble though. I had to learn to walk by faith, This is a constant in my life here. I never knew what was gonna happen next. I like to know. But I have come to understand that we do not need to know everything. If we did know everything then there would be no need for faith.
I can't really tell you why I fell in love with this place nor can I explain the feelings and thoughts that I had when I decided to stay and that it was confirmed a good choice by the Holy Ghost. I cannot say that I touched the lives of anyone here. I hope I did. But truly the lives of so many here touched mine and have made a world of difference to me. I hope that they know who they are. I hope that I am not so flawed as to not let them know from time to time how special they are to me and what their friendship to me has meant. I am just this simple small town California girl who jumped into a big city knowing no one my age hoping to make something out of this desert Arizona life and the good people here helped make that hope of mine fabricate into a reality. I am grateful for the influence of others in my life. I need people. As much as I like to be independent, I really do need people who are Christ like enough to love me. And boy I have been blessed all my life with those fine jewels. I am a lucky gal.
When I came here I would say my last name and everyone just would look at me with a smile... But there was no flicker of recognition in their eyes... it was weird. And so for the first time in my life no one had any preconceived ideas about me. And in the beginning I was undergoing a sort of breakdown.... I was sitting there realizing no one had a flippin clue who I was! No one!!! I am not gonna lie, it scared me a little. Then I started to question if I ever was all those things a Lange was supposed to be... or at least always seemed to be. Then I got excited thinking I could be anyone I wanted... In the end I am a Lange. Plain and simple. I still say and do things like my bros. I still crave playing sports and love every second I get on a court or field. And I love to camp, spend time on a boat, and wakeboard, Yep, I am a Lange alright. But I am ERICA Lange and that right there brings in a lot of things that are just me.
I also learned to create in my time here. And that I like to decorate my place to make it nice and welcoming. And I learned to go out of my shell a bit more. Yeah, I still am really bad at it, but I have gotten a lot better. I learned that I love to be busy and I have developed a greater love for cooking and cleaning in my time here. I have become less of a worrier and have learned to love and live life!! Sure I have always loved life, but let me tell ya... I love it more now. I learned a lot about living and I guess I can say a learned a bit about love in general. I learned to love those around me in a greater capacity than I think I have ever been able to do before. And I got to say I learned a lot about what life is like when there are a lot of Mormons around!!! Ha So so weird to me still but I am getting used to it.
Oh and I learned that food goes bad way faster here than in California!! It is crazy!! I had to change the way I grocery shop! Also did you know that oranges can get dehydrated ? Yeah! Never knew that, but apparently the oranges we had went as hard as a rock and Kristin told me they get dehydrated from the heat and if they are left outside you can step on them and shatter them. The effects of that Arizona sun guys!!
But I think the biggest lesson of all that I learned has been about faith and giving up my time table and allowing the Lord's time table to take place in my life. It hasn't been easy. It took a lot of humbling and still I continue to be in need of humility. You learn so much when you are humble though. I had to learn to walk by faith, This is a constant in my life here. I never knew what was gonna happen next. I like to know. But I have come to understand that we do not need to know everything. If we did know everything then there would be no need for faith.
I can't really tell you why I fell in love with this place nor can I explain the feelings and thoughts that I had when I decided to stay and that it was confirmed a good choice by the Holy Ghost. I cannot say that I touched the lives of anyone here. I hope I did. But truly the lives of so many here touched mine and have made a world of difference to me. I hope that they know who they are. I hope that I am not so flawed as to not let them know from time to time how special they are to me and what their friendship to me has meant. I am just this simple small town California girl who jumped into a big city knowing no one my age hoping to make something out of this desert Arizona life and the good people here helped make that hope of mine fabricate into a reality. I am grateful for the influence of others in my life. I need people. As much as I like to be independent, I really do need people who are Christ like enough to love me. And boy I have been blessed all my life with those fine jewels. I am a lucky gal.
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